Sunday, February 24, 2008

Please, Go Ahead and Be Selfish!

Maybe I just like to make myself miserable, but once in a while I tune in to a TV evangelist. The last time I did there was the usual ranting on of how selfish and self centered we sinners are. But, you know, I think he has gotten it all wrong. Look at the problems we face. As a society we are grossly overweight and unfit. We watch too much TV. We don't exercise enough. We isolate ourselves from each other, suffer from a very high rate of mental illness and stress. For most of us there is no WE but only a loose collection of I's.

Do these symptoms point to selfishness? I don't think so. Stupidity, perhaps, or ignorance, at least. If we were selfish, wouldn't we be doing what was good for ourselves? If we loved ourselves would we be pushing poisons into our mouths? If we loved our children would we be putting them in front of TVs for six hours per day? Would we be feeding our faces to the point of diabetes and obesity if we desired our best? If we wanted the ultimate for our descendants would we knowingly be kicking the shit out of the world? Of course not! I think that our real problem is that we despise ourselves!

What the world needs now is people who care about themselves. Really! Go ahead and be selfish. Don't apologize. Learn to love yourself. It's what God, the world and the rest of us need. The god of materialism is killing us. The love of self has been abandoned for the love of excess and abuse. If we loved ourselves we wouldn't need beauty aids, fancy cars, face lifts, the latest fashions and fifty dollar hair cuts. We would know enough to not be taken in by the "What Toyota Are You?" adds. We would know who we are and who we aren't, and maybe even, who we could become.

Most of my dearest friends and family simply do not know how to love themselves. They spend most of their time and resources on things which are destructive to their bodies and spirits. According to what we hear and see, that is what we are supposed to do. The religious noise we hear says otherwise but they nor anyone else seems to provide any examples to back us the words. It is all so sad.

But talk about an opportunity! Do you love yourself? I've asked it before and I'll keep it up. Haven't you been given a brain that can tell the difference between life and death? Don't you really know what is good for you and what is not, what is good for your children and what is evil/unhealthy/deadening/stupidening?

God gave us all the reason and free will. If we continue to each stay isolated/stupid/blind and dying, it is simply by our own choice. And don't any of us dare complain, now or later. None of us has anything to complain about. We chose each day to live the way we are. Don't we dare blame the government or corporations or the schools or churches. WE are all of these things. We alone must accept what we will and do not doe. YOU and I perpetuate the lies and pass them on to those around us by our inaction and apathy, by how we spend our money and our time.

Are you what you drive? Is that all you are? If so, fine. But if you aren't, if you would be more and leave a legacy of more, you know what you can do about it. Start with one other person and talk. Ask yourself what you would really do if you really loved yourself. And DO it. Share it with just one other. That is a must. If you start with just doing one thing and sharing it with just one other, the world will become a new place for you. I promise. Even if I'm wrong, what would you lose?

When you say “Take care,” so someone, mean it. Take care of yourself. Really.
As Red Green says, "We're rootin' for you.”

“To get wisdom is to love oneself.” - proverb

“This, above all: refuse to be a victim. Unless I can do that I can do nothing.” - Margaret

Reflections on the 'Bridge" dream

STEP 29 REFLECTIONS ON THE DREAM

If you've been following along in my journey, you know that I've been on this writing stage for over a month. All along I've been telling you and myself of the need to activate beliefs or they die, to share with others in order to DO, that a person alone can do nothing. But NOTHING is precisely what I've done. My son has offered to build me a web sight to help me communicate but I've procrastinated and haven't gotten back to him.
I'm scared. I'd rather sit back and write to myself, make believing that that is enough. I'm afraid and dread the attention/looks/scorn?/pressure/scepticism/that might be directed my way if/when I start to really travel.
So, once more, an answer(s) have come my way. From God? Or my own convictions? Who knows? Who cares? Not me. I know that if I don't do what I know is my calling, I will be miserable and incomplete. I know that I am not up to the job, whatever it is. I know that much of what I bring, much of the baggage I have brought along is inadequate and might have to be discarded. I can only hope that many unseen others will be going my way and will give me a hand. In short, I have to trust a bit and get on with what is my best.
But I'd rather be sailing! And my boat is ready!
(I have had a love/fear relationship with my father. In reflecting upon the dream, its most wonderful gift was at the very end of the vision, he appeared. After going over some of the details of the bridge, where he put in his 'two cent's worth', we shared a warm and lasting hug. Just the memory of that enbrace brings tears to my eyes.)

“The object of teaching a child is to enable him/her to get along without the teacher.” - Elbert Hubbard

A Dream of Building a Bridge

STEP 28 A DREAM OF BUILDING A BRIDGE
the night of January 18, 2008

An all weather road had to be built in a wilderness area, a road on which I would be frequently traveling. It crossed a stream bed that was now dry but would often be filled with run off from the storms, so the job of building some sort of a bridge had to be done as soon as possible. I had a bunch of material left from other projects and I thought they would suffice. But I certainly couldn't do the work alone. I thought I knew where I could get a tractor or two to help move some logs.
My plan was to put a number of plastic culverts across the bottom of the stream bed, put logs above them to the depth of several feet and then fill over it all with dirt, on the top putting more logs length-wise on which to drive. I had never done this before but the idea was the best I could come up with and the material was all at hand.
To my pleasant surprise, I easily persuaded half a dozen people to give me a hand. They all lived up the road and were glad to help as it was to their benefit also.
The one snag in my scheme was that many of my materials were simply inadequate for the job. When I got them on sight and looked at them, what I had thought were culverts turned out to be plastic flower pots! But more usable stuff was soon found. How, or by whom, I don't know. And I don't know if we used the tractors. All I remember is a bunch of shovels and a large pile of dirt.
The results was good: a useable bridge, but not one on which you would drive a Rolls Royce. It would stand up to a few high waters and maybe last for several years before it would have to be replaced or repaired.
(Throughout the dream there was an ongoing presence of my father who died some twenty-five years ago. In the dream he was very supportive of the project but could not take direct part himself because of an illness. I had to promise him that I would leave some work for him to do when he was able; he wanted so very much to be a part of the project.)

“The last cenury made the world a neighbourhood; this century must make it a family. The more I have studied economics, the more I have come to the conclusion that this is true. The chose is that or the deluge.” - J.S. Woodsworth

“Many hands make light work.” - common saying

Another False Doctrine - Inerrancy of Scripture

STEP 27 ANOTHER FALSE DOCTRINE - THE INERRANCY OF SCRIPTURE

The scripture of the Jewish faith was something in motion and transition. It was not frozen until the first and second century A.D., after many of the newer writings had been used to lead the people to revolt against the hated Roman occupation. The understanding then was that if a writing was used to back a losing cause it could not be a Word of God. However, within the Jewish faith there has continued to be a great variety of life and change because of the custom of debate that has been maintained.
The Christian cannon was establised more for political reasons (of the Roman Empire) and was never blessed with the tradition of debate. For much of its history, until the 1600's or so, most "believers" were illiterate, so little discussion and questioning took place. It was very easy to assume a static and "once is forever" value. Nothing could be farther from what the original writers wanted.
What they passionately desired was to convey/communicate the reality of love/God to the world around them so that others might live in the joy and freedom they were experiencing. They certainly didn't expect or hope that their words were the only and last words on the subject. That would hardly have been good news to them.
Within the Christian cannon of scriptures we have a great variety of writings: private letters, open letters, letters in the name of others (as was the custom), gospels from various communities of faith that are based upon the available sayings and traditions of Jesus of Nazareth but fleshed out in ways that best told the truth in story form. To take these writings most seriously, each has to be looked at on its own. If we are to get the most from them we first ask the questions of who wrote them? Why? Who were they addressed to? What were the assumptions and the conditions of the time? Only when we answer these questions can we begin to answer our own question, "What does it mean for us?" When we don't honour the texts enough to do our homework we make grave errors. When we remain ignorant and unquestioning we are vulnerable to any interpretation of others and often give in to the blatantly stupid.
An easy example of this is that the Jehovah Witnesses place a great deal of importance on an insignifant passage from Revelations where it says that 144,000 will enter heaven. That sounds like a pretty small number. And when you know that those of your sect are at the top of the list, and that there are many millions of Jehovah Witnesses, they you’d better work your butt off getting to the top of the line. You’d better knock on as may doors as possible for every convert you bring in pushes you up the line a bit. Not a happy bunch. Not much love. It’s a double shame when even a few minutes researching the source reminds us that as in all apocolypic writings, (done in times of persecution) symbols and psyduodymns are used to protect the people. In the language of the believers, following the Jewish customs, seven and twelve were perfect and blessed numbers. So what would be more perfect and blessed than twelve twelves (144)? And what was the biggest number in the Roman system? One thousand.
So what would symbolize the biggest, most perfect number immaginable? 144,000. Exactly the opposite meaning that the Witensses have adopted as the one truth upon which to build their house of cards. (And still people join them! Doesn’t say much for our intellegence, does it?)
So, yes, I prioritize scripture. I read all through the lense of LOVE. I believe, as a child of Mother/Father God, I have been given reason and soul that I might find and know the truth. I know that what we call "The Holy Bible" is indeed holy. So are many other writings. Anything is holy if through it true understanding has been found and can be found. But this doesn't mean that all words within these writings are for us as they stand. Some, in fact, might be warnings to us, pointing to how we and others can and have warped and misunderstood God's Will for us.
So you can understand that many say that I am NOT a Christian. But that's all right with me. I don't claim to be one. What I am is one who knows that the WAY of Jesus of Nazareth is the way for me to live, to get the most out of life and to journey toward the Source of All. I call myself a disciple of Jesus of Nazareth. That's plenty. All I read, be it from scriptures deemed "holy" or from popular si-fi novels, is read with this in mind and heart. How could it be otherwise?

“Three things cannot long be hidden: the sun, the moon and the truth.” - Buddha

“I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowned us with sense, reason and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.” - Galileo Galilie

“Think about how stupid the average person is, then realize that half the population is stupider.” - George Carlin

“Artificial intelligence is no match for human stupidity.” - Red Green

Jesus Was No Sacrifice

STEP 26 THE FALSE DOCTRINE OF SACRIFICE

I am frequently asked to explain how Jesus' death saves us from hell. There is no doctrine that is more central to the official church belief nor more of a barrier to non-believers. This is truly an ironical and unnecessary tragedy.
There is no doubt that Jesus was killed by the Romans for crimes against Rome. There were three charges; guilty on all accounts: urging people to not pay their taxes to Rome - causing a revolt - claiming to be king (Messiah). (His followers claimed as much and that was the same thing under law.) There was also no doubt that Jesus could have gotten away. In a very real way he chose to die. I'm not going to un-pack the resurrection experiences at this point, but the truth was, his followers did experience his presence after his death in ways to change their whole lives and points of view. Afterwards they could only try with all their hearts to answer the questions of, why did he chose to die, what did he die for and what did it mean to them.
The immediate followers understood that the death and resurrection of Jesus proved that the WAY of Jesus of Nazareth was indeed the WAY of Yahweh, the Giver of Life. Jesus had died in order to show them that truth. That understanding allowed and gave them the courage to live that WAY in spite of all else. It was not a matter of doctrine but of experience and a change of being. Guilt and sin was not really a part of it. Life was. Death didn't matter any more. They were free of the power of death so they could get on with a life of love. It was the only thing that mattered.
But this event/understanding did not stay isolated. Saul of Tarsus (Paul) and others took the message to those in the Greek-mentality world around them. Their message was simple: "The loving God of creation, known primarily by the Jews, is available and open to all and can be known through the life and teachings of Jesus of Nazareth. Through him you can be freed of what binds you to ways of evil and death. Jesus has shown that those powers are meaningless! Believe. Follow. Live."
The words, symbols and actions used in this message were, of course, different than with the Jewish core. Those in the Greek understanding thought in terms of sacrifice, not love. Literally every Gentile understanding of the divine in back then included buying off the gods in some way. Any people who were involved with the "holy" were kept poor by the assumed and constant need to appease the gods. Gods of love, of travel, of weather, of crops, of sex, etc., etc,. There were few traditional gods that could be thought of as even being neutral. The most people could hope for was to be ignored. Gifts (sacrifices) to the many temples were how to keep the gods happy or away from you. Religious people's lives meant enslavement to sacrifice. It would never stop.
Obviously, the idea of freedom through Jesus (soon to be called the Christ) meant a change of all that. Sacrifices were no longer needed. Also obviously, because they had always thought in terms of sacrifice, if sacrifices were no longer needed, it had to be, in their thought, because a bigger and better, the biggest and best sacrifice possible had been made. This sacrifical way of thinking was so pervasive that literally every meat/butcher shop in every city was dedicated to one or more gods. As long as you were eating meat, it might as well be at least a semi-sacrifice to a god. It couldn't do any harm, even if you didn't really buy into it. Every death was seen as connected to a god. How could it be any different in the case of Jesus of Nazareth? What more logical way of making sense of his death? When Paul, a Jew and one who saw sacrifice as something else entirely, was trying to explain to others the importance of Jesus, how natural it was to speak in terms of sacrifice, the ultimate gift of love that enabled all to be set free. It worked. It connected. It made the "WORD" become FLESH to those people.
But to us? It sounds crazy. It goes against our thoughts and experiences. To us the scenario spells out something likes this. "There is a one and loving God of the universe. He had one Son whom He loved more than all of creation. God loved this Son so much, God sent Him down to earth in the form (lowly, sinful, fleshy, abhorant) of a person. People wouldn't believe and follow this Son of God so God had him killed so that God could raise Him from death, that the sinful and stupid people would believe. Those that do believe, finally, God welcomes to eternal life and those that don't understand, fry forever. (God still loves them, of coarse, but tough luck.) That the believers get to heaven at all is made possible by the fact that the Son willingly choose to die, becoming a big enough sacrifice to balance off all the mean and dirty stuff that humans have ever done and even will ever do. All those who were born before Jesus’ sacrifice or who haven’t heard? Again, tough luck. They fry also.”
The trouble is, we just don't think in those terms. We don't believe that a loving parent with ten imperfect children and one perfect child would/should/could ask the one good kid to kill himself. We don't think that it would make everything that the other ten had done suddenly all right. It doesn't make sense. It isn't loving and it isn't right. So don't believe it. And so we shouldn't.
So what do we do? We go back to the question that the doctrine/explaination of sacrifice answered then, and ask it using our own words and sybols. Don't let Paul get you confused. Read his words for what they were and are, not as the specifics as how we need understand the death of Jesus, but as a true example of how that changed lives back then, and be encouraged and challenged to re-hear the news anew for ourselves. If we allow ourselves to be limited by that language, how tragic, wasteful and sad. How deadly, for us and the world.
If Jesus took the form of sacrifice for the people then, if that was the paradymn that fitted and explained for them the new life that was offered, what is the paradymn for us? Before we answer, we need to remind ourselves repeatedly of how the earliest followers, those Jews who had known Jesus, thought of him. Remember how they lived, following the WAY, looking to Jesus as One Who showed and spoke God's WORD. Maybe that's enough, now as it was then. Maybe all we need to do is read what is there and look around the imagry that doesn't make sense to us and take seriously the results that the gospel had upon the people at that time. But we need to beware of the words of today that do not result in results of new life and love. They must be rejected. And they surround us. When we run into language that insults our intelligence, we need to throw them out, but not throw out the baby. Toss out the stuff that are barriers but keep the truth. Don’t feel guilty about challenging scripture. If these words in the Bible are indeed holy, God's Word will come through to us, if we are looking.

“It does not take many words to speak the truth.” - Chief Joseph, Nez Perce
“If you would understand anything, observe its beginning and its devolopment.” - Aristotle

Many Words in Churches are Not True

STEP 24 THE WORD AND BEING PART OF IT

From the earliest awarenesses of what we call GOD the ancients (Jews) knew of a concept that could only be called WORD, intimitant and personal communication that was/is one with power and action. This is and demonstrates God's WAY with creation and us as children. "In the beginning.... God created...God said.....and it was.....and it was good." Again and again we are told, "and God said..." We know of God's WORD, then, in creation. Again and again "and God's WORD came to ......" we are told of the prophets. The followers of Jesus of Nazareth heard and understood the WORDS of the Holy anew through him and could only continue in that tradition by writing in the Gospel we call John, "In the beginning was the Word.....and the Word became flesh and lived among us..." so real was God's Word to them through the experience of Jesus, to them the Christ.
God's WORD was not a static or a "then" thing but a constant yet fluid reality, a present condition of God and characteristic that proved and even force communication, love and the awareness that the reality of God brought. God was/is not distant. The Bet Middler song "From a Distance" would have been known as a lie. That it wasn't to us shows our grave ignorance and immaturity spiritually.
The most basic tenants of Jewish belief included that fact of communication between God and us. It is not just a possibility, it is simply the way things are. We as people are called (communication again) to be children. We are made this way, able (if not willing) to communicate. And to communicated with others. Although we have individual realizations and WORDS, if you will, come to us in individual communication with God (call it prayer, visions, flashes, meditation, etc.) any supposed WORD can only become real and be verified as true or untrue through the light and scrutany of others and the world around us.
In fact any Word must be shared. If it stays unshared it dies. It is wasted. And woe to the person, or group to whom the Word came if it isn't shared. Not that they're going to any Danteian Hell but any Word that is held within will fester and be forever an incomplete void in the heart and soul of those who captured and held it forever, who were stupid/cowardly/arrogant and unloving enough to judge God's Word themselves. God's Word needs to be shared/heard/passed on and debated in order to become action. This is true of all aspects of the Word. As I have mentioned, this is one great shortcoming of most churches. God's Word is limited to the experts. The majority of church goers sit and listen; they do not participate in any way in God's Word. So of course they stay small in understanding and even smaller in doing. We have re-written John to "and the Word was made flesh in our clergy and is told to us.." We are afraid to debate any spiritual understanding or action. We assume that Jesus was an enemy of those with whom hee debated (ususually Pharaces) when as a teacher he knew that debating is the only way we learn.
If we don't participate in the word, not only do we not grow, we literally kill the word. So the habit of the most churches in limiting discussion and involvement is not only not good, it is plainly evil. Any minister who preaches only, who doesn't make it as easy to dialogue/question/share re his sermon as it was easy to come and hear it, is not only shirking his duty or being "modern", he is actually lying to the people and keeping them small. He is acting against God's WILL and WORD. S/he is deluding children of God by actions and inaction that imply that sitting on their and hearing is all that is available to us, that we, the resultants is what God as Parent has in mind.
Those of us within worship congregations, in any/all ways you can, challenge your leadership and provide leadership yourselves to allow God's WORD to be shared within your church. If it simply can not happed, leave it now! Of chose to simply not grow and waste your life and what growing influence you might have been to those around you had you become yourself more a part of God's WORD. And if you are not in a faith community, become one. Know that we each and all can become a conduit for God's WORD. We don't have to feel we have any answers of something to preach. But we do have ourselves to share, questions of life and love to kick around. Let us know that in doing so we are recognizing ourselves as HOLY. This doing is as much "We are each free to answer. We do this with each other. It is not difficult. And it is so much more fun to be free with others in God's WORD than to remain alone.
Know that you often won't agree. But neither did the followers of Jesus. Know that you will be challenged and uncomfortable. Know that because most of us haven't done this very much and will get to excited for we have long been in the habit of arguing and condeming instead of debate and sharing. Remember to listen with love for it is risky for another to be open to any others about their questions and experiences. Remember that all people really do share common questions and needs of life but that their words may be radically different. Remember that God loves them as much as you. Stand up for your rights to be heard. Hope to be understood but don't expect it. Even Jesus wasn't understood most of the time. But above all, become part of the WORD. The cost is well worth it!

"To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong." - Joseph Chilton Pearse

"Language exerts hidden power, like moon on the tides." - Rita Mae Brown

God's WORD - Being Part if It

STEP 24 THE WORD AND BEING PART OF IT

From the earliest awarenesses of what we call GOD the ancients (Jews) knew of a concept that could only be called WORD, intimitant and personal communication that was/is one with power and action. This is and demonstrates God's WAY with creation and us as children. "In the beginning.... God created...God said.....and it was.....and it was good." Again and again we are told, "and God said..." We know of God's WORD, then, in creation. Again and again "and God's WORD came to ......" we are told of the prophets. The followers of Jesus of Nazareth heard and understood the WORDS of the Holy anew through him and could only continue in that tradition by writing in the Gospel we call John, "In the beginning was the Word.....and the Word became flesh and lived among us..." so real was God's Word to them through the experience of Jesus, to them the Christ.
God's WORD was not a static or a "then" thing but a constant yet fluid reality, a present condition of God and characteristic that proved and even force communication, love and the awareness that the reality of God brought. God was/is not distant. The Bet Middler song "From a Distance" would have been known as a lie. That it wasn't to us shows our grave ignorance and immaturity spiritually.
The most basic tenants of Jewish belief included that fact of communication between God and us. It is not just a possibility, it is simply the way things are. We as people are called (communication again) to be children. We are made this way, able (if not willing) to communicate. And to communicated with others. Although we have individual realizations and WORDS, if you will, come to us in individual communication with God (call it prayer, visions, flashes, meditation, etc.) any supposed WORD can only become real and be verified as true or untrue through the light and scrutany of others and the world around us.
In fact any Word must be shared. If it stays unshared it dies. It is wasted. And woe to the person, or group to whom the Word came if it isn't shared. Not that they're going to any Danteian Hell but any Word that is held within will fester and be forever an incomplete void in the heart and soul of those who captured and held it forever, who were stupid/cowardly/arrogant and unloving enough to judge God's Word themselves. God's Word needs to be shared/heard/passed on and debated in order to become action. This is true of all aspects of the Word. As I have mentioned, this is one great shortcoming of most churches. God's Word is limited to the experts. The majority of church goers sit and listen; they do not participate in any way in God's Word. So of course they stay small in understanding and even smaller in doing. We have re-written John to "and the Word was made flesh in our clergy and is told to us.." We are afraid to debate any spiritual understanding or action. We assume that Jesus was an enemy of those with whom hee debated (ususually Pharaces) when as a teacher he knew that debating is the only way we learn.
If we don't participate in the word, not only do we not grow, we literally kill the word. So the habit of the most churches in limiting discussion and involvement is not only not good, it is plainly evil. Any minister who preaches only, who doesn't make it as easy to dialogue/question/share re his sermon as it was easy to come and hear it, is not only shirking his duty or being "modern", he is actually lying to the people and keeping them small. He is acting against God's WILL and WORD. S/he is deluding children of God by actions and inaction that imply that sitting on their and hearing is all that is available to us, that we, the resultants is what God as Parent has in mind.
Those of us within worship congregations, in any/all ways you can, challenge your leadership and provide leadership yourselves to allow God's WORD to be shared within your church. If it simply can not happed, leave it now! Of chose to simply not grow and waste your life and what growing influence you might have been to those around you had you become yourself more a part of God's WORD. And if you are not in a faith community, become one. Know that we each and all can become a conduit for God's WORD. We don't have to feel we have any answers of something to preach. But we do have ourselves to share, questions of life and love to kick around. Let us know that in doing so we are recognizing ourselves as HOLY. This doing is as much "We are each free to answer. We do this with each other. It is not difficult. And it is so much more fun to be free with others in God's WORD than to remain alone.
Know that you often won't agree. But neither did the followers of Jesus. Know that you will be challenged and uncomfortable. Know that because most of us haven't done this very much and will get to excited for we have long been in the habit of arguing and condeming instead of debate and sharing. Remember to listen with love for it is risky for another to be open to any others about their questions and experiences. Remember that all people really do share common questions and needs of life but that their words may be radically different. Remember that God loves them as much as you. Stand up for your rights to be heard. Hope to be understood but don't expect it. Even Jesus wasn't understood most of the time. But above all, become part of the WORD. The cost is well worth it!

"To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong." - Joseph Chilton Pearse

"Language exerts hidden power, like moon on the tides." - Rita Mae Brown

How To Go From Congregation to Community?

STEP 23 FROM CONGREGATIONS INTO COMMUNITY


Church congregations that are dying rarely have grown spiritually to the point of community, let alone family. The members merely congregate around worship and paying the bills. And if the worship is not attractive to outsiders than of course the group eventually dwindles and dies. They have nothing to offer.
A group that becomes or starts out as a real community has much more to offer than mere individuals is isolation. It is an entirely different animal and is experienced by the newcomer most differently. All of us need community. We are communal/social animals. We need a place/opportunity to receive, give, share, be taken seriously, live, die, celebrate and mourn. We need others in order to be and become ourselves. We need a place in which to ask questions and share answers. This does not happen in a congregation. It happens only within community, a place of family in the good sense. People that enter the church for the first time are impressed mostly by what sense of community (family) they experience. They may not be able to put it into those words but that is what it is usually about for them.
The music is important. So is the sermon and minister. Were they greeted warmly and honestly? Did the people hang around before and after talking and sharing? Were all ages and types at ease and welcome? Was there LIFE there, things going on that told you that words became action? But mainly, is there a feeling love? Do they care about each other? Would they care about you? Would you have to change and conform before they did? In short, firstly, is there real community and secondly, is it a community to which you would like to be a part of?
If you would survive and grow, churches, you must know that you only have yourselves to offer to others. You can not offer God/Christ apart from through you. And you can not do this as individuals only but only through community. Your first question MUST be, HOW CAN WE BECOME MORE OF A COMMUNITY OF FAITH (FAMILY)? At all board meetings this must be the underlying question and criteria for all other decisions. Questions regarding worship must be only answered by how a certain practice would build or detract from the sense of community. How dollars are spent. How seating is arranged. What happens to the children during worship. When the church building is open or closed. How the annual fund raising is done. Who greets at the door. If there is coffee after the service. Is there an open discussion after the service for those who have questions/comments/things to share.
I have been in very few church meetings where this is even mentioned. Those congregations were all in trouble though usually in a state of denial. A sense of community is built it to some traditions. Quakers, Hutterites, Mennonites, the Salvation Army, Mormons, and no doubt some others are built around the reality of community. Some so tightly that there is a real sense of exclusiveness, a them and us mentality that is quite unChristian. We must remind ourselves at all times that although the early People of the Way were most definitely a community/family and thrived because of this, they were open and welcoming to all around them. They were not dogmatic and narrow as many of the current examples are.
As I have mentioned before, the fact that new people keep entering churches of real community even though their theology and beliefs may be unreal, obscure and even bizarre only proves the fact that many people need community beyond all else. And it offers great hope to those churches that will strive to be both real in their practices and offer themselves as a believing, living, caring and loving community of faith. I don't really understand why they would want to be anything else in the first place.

One short event to share. Much earlier on, STEP I think, I mentioned how bad for worship the seating of the choir was in the church Judy and I were attending. As chance would have it, on Christmas Sunday the electric organ went on the fritz resulting in the choir having to actually leave their hidden cave and joining the worshipers below. We sat in the front pews (otherwise unoccupied) and went forward to sing from the steps that mounted to the elevated front of the church. It worked wonderfully! The choir increased the number of people by twenty-five per cent and changed the whole feeling. There was real communication in the the choral numbers. There was no doubt that the sense of community was greatly enhanced. Some of the choir members hated it; they weren't free to read or to sleep during the sermon. But many loved it.
What will happen to the congregation? Will a lesson be learned from this accident? Will an observation be made or a question asked? I doubt it. I certainly made my views known. But my opinion wouldn't count unless I was there for the long haul. The sense of community doesn't count either in that church. Too bad. They'll not be around for long. They're offering only words, not themselves. If they weren't there I doubt if many would notice. But a great piece of real estate would be open for another use. Maybe a community of faith.

"Where two or more are gathered in my name, I will be with them." - Jesus of Nazareth

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." - Margaret Mead